Too Much Pressure!

Pressure is everywhere. Pressure to feel a certain way, look a certain way, and behave a certain way.

I’ve felt and lived by the pressure for such a long time in my life. I did everything I could to stand out, while still trying to fit in if that makes sense.

There’s always pressure to not rock the boat. To try to remain in a neutral lane so that your beliefs aren’t known or noticed by another person. There’s pressure to make your views private so that a person on the other aisle of politics doesn’t get offended..

There’s so much of this going on, and I’ve realized I just can’t do it anymore.

I haven’t been writing that much lately because I feel pressured to write a certain way. This is completely internal and know that there isn’t any expectations put upon me.

But I’m done with that. Like, I want to be me, in the best way I know how. I want to actually…be me, and not such a passive voice.

I’m here. I’m a person, a weirdo, a nerd, and all of the other things you can call me.

I like anime, although I don’t watch as much as I used to. I like anime, but please don’t drill me because the anime that I have seen might not be the same.

I like playing games. I used to own a PS4, but now I have this amazing PC that I built.

I miss streaming. I miss being able to do the things I love while talking to other people. But I also don’t miss streaming. Because I love being able to do the things I love while talking to other people, without the pressure of having to act a certain way to get viewers.

I’m goofy and weird. That used to be such an insult to me. I used to try to pretend to be someone I’m not because of all the bullying and insults that were thrown at me for being different.

I’m unlike anyone else I know in my life, aside from my husband. His weirdness and my weirdness match in the best ways. He’s like the puzzle piece that I’ve been missing.

At this point, I’m tired of going over and over again on how to say what I want to say. I’m just going to say it.

Even if it’s divisive.

Like this, “I don’t remember anything about Pokemon from growing up and I don’t care about it now.”

Sorry for all of the people who followed me that I have just offended. I mean…I just had to let my truth be known.

I like Pikachu because when I play smash bros, I can just annoy people because I don’t actually know how to play.

I say all this to say that I will be posting more often, but it’ll be like…in my own voice. Not in a passive and neutral voice. If you don’t know what that means, then yay! It won’t matter.

Now I leave you with the Pikachu Ketchup Song. Enjoy!